Masculinity is not our enemy
Masculinity is not our enemy
That was the title of an article I read in Psychology Today by noted author, psychologist and counsellor, Michel Gurian.
As a first generation, born and bred feminist, it was shortly after the birth of my son, I noticed a slightly skewed cultural perspective. As my son grew older, I started to think about his future and the type of man he would be, the type of woman he would marry, and if I’m honest, I was a little concerned.
Society for centuries was skewed against women. In some arena’s it still is. However, by and in large, in my experience, we’ve come a long way since the 1970’s. I have always felt opportunity was mine for the taking and my gender was not an obstacle.
Enter the new millennia, and there seem to me to be a toxic feminism that took over. One that rather seeking to been seen as equal, insisted on superiority. In a “Girls are better than Boy’s” way. Is it just me? Did anyone else see this? Even in the slightest way?
The way boys and men were and are portrayed in TV and some Movies. Always just a little bit dumber…clueless. Like the stereotypical “blondes” of old. Vacant. We know this wasn’t an accurate portrayal of women. Why should we accept it when it is a man or boy being portrayed as inadequate to the task? Momma used to say, “ Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
We can advance girls/women standing in our society without the need to sacrifice or emasculate boys/men. One gender does not to be demeaned for the other to succeed. True equality means same/same, regardless of differences.
I want my son to know the masculine part of him is valued and needed in our culture. To “be a man” shouldn’t be an insult anymore “than running like a girl” should. Because both qualities, feminine and masculine are qualities and expression that are important, needed and valuable.
From the article:
“In reality, however, if boys are to survive and thrive in a complex world, they must work to be strong (resilient, empowered, able to perform, and at appropriate times, stoic in the face of enemies and hardship), aggressive (assertive, motivated, and able to battle against bullies, as well as help us fight our wars both abroad and at home), powerful (successful in work, in life, in leadership, and, when needed, in follower-ship to leaders who are morally sound). These qualities are intertwined with tenderness, kindness, compassion, spiritual vitality, empathy, fortitude, character, and fatherhood. We are able to have compassion because we are strong; we are able to live from a position of kindness because we have the power to do so.”-Michel Gurian
This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate Dad’s, Uncles, Grandads etc and every quality they bring to our families and our culture.
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